The Lonely Goatherd Blog And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats - Matthew 25:32
Up to the minute notes on the current state of free thinking and free living: Kentucky moonshine - original analysis and reporting from MoreThings, and all round pop culture museum of sight and sound - photo galleries, mp3 and video downloads.
Al Barger and MoreThings - getting people's goats since 1998.
Links
To explicitly state the obvious, these external links go to interesting and provocative websites, but they speak for themselves. I don't necessarily agree with anything they say - especially that no-goodnik Richard Marcus.
************
All original content on MoreThings.com copyright 2008 Albert Barger or the respective authors
October 30, 2007
New Album Releases, 10-30-2007: The Eagles long sucking road out of Eden, Levon Helms, Britney Spears Let me begin this minor dissertation with a confession: I was suckered into buying the new Eagles album, Long Road Out of Eden. This Wal-Mart only album is their first proper album in 28 years. I do understand that they were the original corporate rock band, inventing the vile light rock genre with their first few albums.
But it's no more fair to hold the Eagles responsible for Coldplay than it would be to hold Aretha Franklin responsible for the atrocities against Geometry and Theology committed by Mariah Carey. Plus, these guys wrote "Life in the Fast Lane," "Lyin' Eyes" and that one song about that hotel. Plus, Wal-Mart, God bless 'em, sells this new big name two-cd set for $11.88. It's a heller bargain. Alright, we'll take a flyer.
But it's only a bargain if the album is at least halfway good. I SO wish I had my twelve bucks back, cause this album is pretty near utterly worthless. So now the only thing I can do is try to get twelve bucks worth of satisfaction from ridiculing this awful record that I was foolish enough to have spent good cash money on. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.
They supposedly spent some years working up these 20 songs - yet couldn't come up with one solid simple hook in an hour and a freakin' half. They conjured up 90 minutes of sounds without one scrap of memorable melody - or memorable anything else.
Obviously this was going to be more of a money deal than any kind of art thing, but as young men these were some fairly inspired corporate commercial hacks. One might have hoped that they could reasonably conjure up at least some decent hackwork on the order of "Heartache Tonight." Not particularly soulful or meaningful - but you'd have to admit it was catchy. That counts for something. There's not a single song on this set even vaguely in even that lower end league of Eagle competence. This is by far the least musically interesting album I've ever heard associated with any Eagle.
I must particularly ridicule the titular song "Long Road Out of Eden." This centerpiece at the beginning of disc two is over ten minutes long. One might expect that a ten minute rock song is probably a half decent three minute song padded out with jam. War or Funkadelic sometimes legitimately had ten minutes worth of something to say. But this song has neither interesting tune nor interesting groove. But it's ten minutes long, so obviously they've making a Big Epic Statement.
The Eagles don't actually have a damned thing to say at this point, either as songwriters or arrangers other than that America's bad and white men are wicked - except for the Eagles and a few assorted LA liberals, it would seem. This is generic corporate rock food product of a very low order. They're not too hard, not too soft, right on the corporate money - but they're toothless for lack of song ideas or production sound. The whole rock MOR orchestration here tastes like cheap little factory lunchbox packs of vanilla pudding - that have been setting on the shelf for twenty odd years.
Addressing them specifically as lyricists - the dummies idea of a musician having something to say - the Eagles are in bad need of new material. Their idea of insightful writing is stuff like the ghost of Caesar's explanation "It's hard to stop this binging once you get a taste But the road to empire is a bloody, stupid waste." But even if you agree with the silly politics, that's a poor piece of song lyric writing. It does not tell a story, present a striking visual image, make some kind of metaphor, or at least alliterate or something.
A pretty good percentage of the lyrics on the album are like this, mere lazy puking up of worn out pinko bromides. I suppose we're suppose to consider this to be Meaningful Art because they're speaking truth to power - at $10,000 a show like Dr Hook. Gee, it's a wonder BusHitler hasn't shipped Henley and Frey off to Gitmo for waterboarding. Ah well, there's always Camp Mimi, where we'll have John Ashcroft and Blackwater running the joint.
Alright then Don and Glenn, I'm done with you. That's about as much ridicule enjoyment as I can conjure for this waste of plastic. Your money's on the dresser, or more specifically in the cash register at Wal-Mart.
You have to admit that Blackout seems like a good name for a Britney Spears album. However, I find it difficult to believe that Britney Spears would actually have anything at all to say of an even vaguely musical nature. In fairness, I've actually seen several surprisingly strong reviews, as if someone involved in the production of this project actually paid attention to making music. Say it this way, sounds unheard I'd recommend taking a chance on Britney Spears rather than the Eagles.
But then the more likely album want might actually should take a chance on would be Levon Helms' Dirt Farmer. Perhaps the voice of Virgil Kane might have something to say.
Also, there's a lot of promotional hoo-haa this week for Joy Division. The deal there was that some decades ago this poor miserable sod Ian Curtis recorded this song "Love Will Tear Us Apart." Then he went out and hung himself, apparently because he realized his utter lack of talent. The poor bastard offing himself did not, however, make the song actually good.
So now he's dead there's this lingering interest and seeming charisma that attracts morbid people's devotion. I just hate this stupid death cult crap, even when it's whipped up for someone like Kurt Cobain who actually had talent. But despite my personal objections, for some reason there's now an Ian Curtis biopic Control, with a soundtrack album out this week. There are also Rhino re-issues of the Joy Division catalogue.
Here's the complete list of this week's major new album releases, courtesy AMG:
Avenged Sevenfold Avenged Sevenfold Warner Bros. Heavy Metal, Alternative Metal, Post-Hardcore, Emo
The Eagles Long Road Out of Eden Polydor Pop/Rock, Soft Rock, Country-Rock
Original Soundtrack Control Warner Bros/Rhino Original Score, Soundtracks, Post-Punk, Proto-Punk
Original Soundtrack I'm Not There Columbia Alternative Singer/Songwriter, Americana, Alternative Country-Rock, Indie Rock, Soundtracks, Pop/Rock, Folk-Rock, Alternative Pop/Rock, Singer/Songwriter, Country-Rock, Rock & Roll
Saves the Day Under the Boards Vagrant Punk-Pop, Punk Revival
Britney Spears Blackout Jive Pop/Rock, Dance-Pop
Arise and Ruin The Final Dawn Victory Grindcore, Thrash
Armor for Sleep Smile for Them Sire Post-Hardcore, Emo, Indie Rock, Dream Pop
Arrested Development Since the Last Time Vagabond Pop-Rap, Alternative Rap
Nicole Atkins Neptune City Red Ink/Columbia Chamber Pop, Indie Pop
The Autumn Offering Fear Will Cast No Shadow Victory Post-Hardcore, Alternative Metal, Heavy Metal
Baby Bash Cyclone Arista Pop-Rap, Latin Rap, Hardcore Rap
Backstreet Boys Unbreakable Jive/Zomba Adult Contemporary, Dance-Pop
Ian Ball Who Goes There Dispensary Singer/Songwriter, Adult Alternative Pop/Rock, British Trad Rock, Britpop
Blue Rodeo Small Miracles Telesoul Heartland Rock, Americana, Alternative Country-Rock
Blues Traveler Cover Yourself C3 American Trad Rock, Jam Bands, Adult Alternative Pop/Rock, Blues-Rock
Gene Clark with Carla Olson In Concert Collectors' Choice Music Folk-Rock, Singer/Songwriter, Country-Rock
Al di Meola Diabolic Inventions and Seduction for Solo Guitar, Vol. 1: Music of Astor Piazzolla Inakustik Guitar Virtuoso, Jazz-Rock, Fusion, World Fusion, Contemporary Jazz, Tango
Will Downing After Tonight Peak Urban, Smooth Soul, Contemporary R&B
Endeverafter Kiss or Kill Razor & Tie Adult Alternative Pop/Rock
Neal Hefti Themes from TV's Top 12 Collectors' Choice Music Television Music, TV Soundtracks
Levon Helm Dirt Farmer Vanguard Roots Rock, Country-Rock
Dmitri Hvorostovsky Heroes and Villains Delos Operatic Baritone Arias
Insane Clown Posse Jugganauts: The Best of Insane Clown Posse Interscope Rap-Rock, Rap-Metal, Midwest Rap
Joy Division Closer [Collector's Edition] Rhino Post-Punk
Joy Division Still [Collector's Edition] Rhino Post-Punk
Joy Division Unknown Pleasures [Collector's Edition] Rhino Post-Punk
The Kinks The Kinks Greatest 1970-1986 Velvel Pop/Rock, British Invasion, Hard Rock, Rock & Roll
La Rota Heu Fortuna Atma Classique Medieval Choral Music
Larry the Cable Guy Christmastime in Larryland Warner Bros. Standup Comedy, Country Comedy, Holiday, Christmas
Richard Lloyd The Radiant Monkey Parasol Indie Rock, Experimental Rock, Alternative Pop/Rock
Youssou N'Dour Rokku Mi Rokka Nonesuch Mbalax, Afro-Pop
Passion des Cuivres Victorian Christmas for Brass Orfeo Holiday Brass Arrangements
Zina Schiff Ernest Bloch: Violin Concerto; Baal Shem; Suite Hebraique Naxos Modern Orchestral Music
David Zinman Mahler: Symphony No. 3 [Hybrid SACD] Sony Classics Post-Romantic Orchestral Music
Otep The Ascension Koch Industrial Metal, Goth Rock, Goth Metal
The Pack Based Boys Jive/Zomba West Coast Rap, Hip-Hop
Playaz Circle Supply and Demand DTP/Def Jam Southern Rap, Gangsta Rap
Queen Queen Rock Montreal Hollywood Album Rock, Pop/Rock, Glam Rock, Hard Rock, Arena Rock
Marty Robbins Grande Ole Opry: Marty Robbins Time/Life WEA Nashville Sound/Countrypolitan, Pop, Rockabilly, Western Swing, Country-Pop, Cowboy, Traditional Country, Rock & Roll, Honky Tonk
Thursday Kill the House Lights Victory Post-Hardcore, Emo
Josh Turner Everything Is Fine MCA Nashville Americana, Neo-Traditionalist Country, Contemporary Country
Let me begin this minor dissertation with a confession: I was suckered into buying the new Eagles album, 
