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Al Barger and MoreThings - getting people's goats since 1998.
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December 22, 2005
David Letterman, Please Quit Psychically Harassing Me
A Santa Fe woman has gotten a restraining order against our Hoosier hero David Letterman to stop him from psychic harassment of her on his Late Night show through facial expressions and code words such as "Oprah."
Thus, when David Letterman cracks wise on his show saying "Marry me, Oprah," he really means, "Marry me Colleen Nestler."
From the AP:
Attorneys for television talk show host David Letterman want a judge to quash a restraining order granted to a Santa Fe woman who contends the celebrity used code words to show that he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host.
A state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her "mental cruelty" and "sleep deprivation" since May 1994.
Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least three yards away and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering."...
Nestler's application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and "eye expressions" to convey his desires for her.
She wrote that she began sending Letterman "thoughts of love" after his show began in 1993, and that he responded in code words and gestures, asking her to come East.
She said he asked her to be his wife during a televised "teaser" for his show by saying, "Marry me, Oprah." Her letter said Oprah was the first of many code names for her, and that the coded vocabulary increased and changed with time.
Obviously this silliness is fodder for jokes, though Letterman will likely be shying away from them after his experiences with the crazy chick that kept breaking into his house and then killed herself.
Being a heartless bastard, that doesn't particularly dis-humor me. What does not amuse me is that some judge would actually go along with this nonsense. He needs run out of office with a quickness.
This obsessed fan thing reminds me of my very favorite all time Saturday Night Live sketch, "The Guy Who Played Mr Belvedre Fan Club." Most particularly, all this psychic silliness brings to mind the Melanie Hutsell character, who says "I should want to cook Brocktoon a simple dinner if he truly accepts the offer, but not if I sense that he accepts it telepathically."
Personally, I just wish that Sinead O'Connor would stop sending me these coded messages through the astral plane offering to have my baby.
posted by Al at 12/22/2005 01:43:00 AM
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