The Lonely Goatherd Blog And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats - Matthew 25:32
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Al Barger and MoreThings - getting people's goats since 1998.
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February 01, 2004
Janet Jackson's Superbowl Titty Massacre Janet Jackson's one second flash of titty at the Superbowl must constitute the lamest PR stunt of the year that does NOT involve her brother. Janet hereby makes it official with this little desperation ploy that even she recognizes that her career lay just as dead as Michael's.
Some of us were rather contemptuous of the infamous Madonna/Britney kiss on MTV. The fading young star and the long faded older star conjured up a cheap bit of manufactured sexual outrage. Whatever. At least they set it up in some minimal way with the song and costumes, and did manage to get at least a bit of soft porn titillation out of it.
This business with Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl halftime was ten times lamer, though. The lameness starts with the partner in sleaze. We were tantalized for days with some big super special mystery guest, who turns out to be...Justin Timberlake?
On top of which, what kind of crappy excuse for a song was that even supposed to be? Her best bit of the night was "Rhythm Nation," which was a mediocre song at best FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. The used copies of the CD going for 59 cents at Amazon are still overpriced.
Then they finished up with Timberlake ripping open one side of her outfit to briefly expose her right breast. Whoop-de-frickin'-do. Is this supposed to be shocking? TITillating? Oh, please. Is this supposed to make me tumescent?
Jebus Criminy, but she looks old and haggard here. Not to be crappy, but this little display forces me to note that she was looking considerably older than her actual 38 years.
Lame, lamer, LAMEST: Even at that, there's a little tassel or covering or some such. Oh, for crying in a bucket- you can't even pull off a naughty stunt right without stepping back.
Alright, one step further into stupidity- Lame, lamer, lamest, lamest-est ever: Timberlake's pre-fabricated post-event claim that it was "accidental." Right. That's why she had the stupid tassel in place. In Justin's defense, I'm sure he was just following the pre-ordained script that Grandma Janet wrote for him.
Janet Jackson has never been a significant artist- and that's OK. She made a decent sized spate of hits, and made herself a name separate from the family. Good for her.
Instead of just accepting that her run was over, though, she has to come across with this quarter-assed stunt. It's not significant enough to be even a HALF-assed stunt. It won't sell her any records. It won't do anything for her except get a couple of empty headlines, and a few lame jokes. In short, it makes her look like (an old, dried up) cheap, slutty Christina Aguillera. Yuck.
Why are the Jacksons SO utterly desperate for even BAD attention? Why can't they just be content to go out and sign a few autographs on the street corner? You'd think with all their trillions of dollars they could afford therapy or something.
