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Up to the minute notes on the current state of free thinking and free living: Kentucky moonshine - original analysis and reporting from MoreThings, and all round pop culture museum of sight and sound - photo galleries, mp3 and video downloads.
Al Barger and MoreThings - getting people's goats since 1998.
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August 28, 2002
Where can I get me a bag of them magic modems?
You may find it difficult to imagine, but based on the primary debate Tuesday night, the Democrats in Florida have found a candidate aggressively stupid enough to make the mass murderess at the other end of the table almost look good. Now, Bill McBride was merely boring. His main message was that incumbent Republican Jeb Bush doesn't care about the people of Florida. He especially doesn't care about The Children. Yeah, yeah.
State senator Daryl Jones, however, was in what he must have thought was a slick (very) used car salesman mode. Yet his sales pitch seemed so ill that the third man aka Satan's Little Helper aka Janet Reno almost seemed reasonable (if you could just forget about the dozens of children and adults she had murdered at Waco. Sorry, had to get that reminder in.)
For starters, in his opening statement Mr. Jones positively bragged on how the government has "invested" $30 million dollars in him through his college and military training and whatnot. What? Your opening statement consists of bragging in detail of sucking up more funds from the public trough than several dozen ordinary citizens will earn in a lifetime? Oh yeah, I'll vote for more of THAT.
Then he proposed doing away with the FCAT program of student testing. Then the $100 million plus could be distributed as bonuses to school teachers. Are voters not supposed to notice pure, unadulterated and certainly unmerited sucking off of the teacher's unions? Don't give standardized tests to the students so that voters can have some objective measure of just how bad the schools are failing. No, just give the money straight over to the teachers. Not the schools, or building funds, or better libraries. Just hand it over. By rights, this does not constitute Jones saying something stupid per se. It is more a question of him suggesting that the voters are really, really stupid enough to buy this. Or to buy one of those silly hardhats that he put on during his closing statement.
The real howlingly funny thing to me, though, involved his plans to invest in magic modems. Florida has had some ongoing really bad national publicity over their apparently awful state child welfare agencies, which seem to have absolutely lost track of where hundreds of kids in their custody even are. Senator Jones' big suggestion was to invest in new laptop computers with wireless modems that will let caseworkers know if abuse is going on.
Dang, is the senator on some of those magic modems? And where can I get me some?
posted by Al at 8/28/2002 01:02:00 AM
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